It has been a crazy time lately and I’ve made some decisions. It is time to start changing things up for the following year. I don’t want 2019 to be full of the same disappointments as the last few years.
Changing things up for 2019
Before I start talking about what I want to change and why I’m doing this, I want to be clear that I’m not upset about this. My feelings of depression are not there with this decision. I want to be positive about the future.
It is time to make the decision that I just can’t make it.
That making a business happen is not going to happen for me. I’ve tried and tried for so many years, but I just can’t seem to get the same opportunities that other photographers get. If you can think of suggestions, just know I have probably already tried them. I have tried so many different ways to be successful.
I’m done watching people with less experience than me get amazing opportunities and I’m left wondering what the hell else I have to do to get the same.
I have no idea why this is the case. It could be because I’m a woman. It could be because I’m in my fifties. I just can’t help wondering if I were a man in my fifties with over 25 years experience and a Fine Arts Degree from Melbourne University, would I be struggling like I am?
I just can’t keep putting myself out there and getting nowhere. My heart can’t take it anymore and I’m sick of getting depressed and upset as it happens for others.
What will this mean?
This is a good question.
There are things that I’ve been involved in that will continue. However, I’m going to stop teaching. I can’t get enough students so that is an easy one to stop. I’ve tried many different types, but after these years, it isn’t working out.
There will also be no more workshops. They are hard work, trying to find people who want to do them seems to elude me all the time. I’ve run many and never had a full one.
This doesn’t mean that if good opportunities arise I won’t consider them, but I am not going to go looking for them anymore.
I still want to take photos, though I have found that in the last few months I have lost my love of it. I haven’t enjoyed it much and not wanted to go out and take photos. I want to get that love back.
I’m going to continue sharing my photos, but that’s all. I’m not going to give hints and tips anymore. It is going to be hard, but I will work it out. What I share will be more about my feelings for the images.
When I first started blogging I wanted the posts to be more about my art practice. I would talk about what I wanted to do without thinking about how I could educate people and I want to go back to that. I liked having that record of what I was trying to do.
So the blog is going to go back to being more a journal of my work.
Though, having said that, I will probably still do some reviews of gear and such. I can’t quite close all doors, but trying to find people who want me to teach them will stop.
Onwards and, hopefully, upwards
Really what I have decided to do is do something that has nothing to do with photography. It is time to seek my fortune elsewhere. See if I can do something that isn’t about using a camera.
I have started working on it, but this isn’t the place to talk about it. I just thought you should know that things will be changing.
I’m excited about the future and am hoping this new direction will give me the success that I am really looking for.
I have the following image for you. It is my best nine images from Instagram in the last year.
Interesting to see that, besides one, all of them are about water. Also, most of the photos were actually taken the year before. I spent a lot of time reposting photos. I just haven’t been in the mood to go out and take my own. I am hoping that will change this year.
Happy New Year to everyone.